J & S Funeral Service cover all Hertfordshire locations from premises in Abbots Langley. Bovingdon is one such area where our funeral directors are continually providing compassionate help and advice to those who are arranging a funeral, looking for a suitable memorial or simply need help in coming to terms with a bereavement.
The day of a funeral is sure to be difficult enough without having to worry about etiquette. To ensure our Bovingdon clients are always suitable prepared for such occasions, our funeral directors have collated the best examples of etiquette and how you should be looking to dress and behave when hosting or attending a funeral.
While it isn’t essential to wear black, brightly coloured clothing will be frowned upon unless you’ve been asked to wear a certain colour in particular. When attending funerals in Bovingdon, our funeral directors recommend that you wear something formal, such as a suit, and men should always consider adding a black tie to their outfit.
Remember that comfort is important and, if the weather is bad, it’s sensible to wear a dark-coloured coat or jacket that fits in with the occasion. Greek Orthodox or Jewish ceremonies may require that you cover your head. Our funeral directors can advise you on this.
CHAPEL OF REST AND FUNERAL PROCESSIONS
Talk to the person who has arranged the funeral in Bovingdon to find out if it’s OK to pay your final respects at a Chapel of Rest. Our funeral directors advise you to be sensitive because visiting the deceased is usually a privilege reserved for family and very close friends. Please use your discretion and act accordingly when making a request.
It is not the responsibility of our funeral directors to decide who travels from Bovingdon to the churchyard or cemetery. Travelling as part of the procession in limousines or any other vehicle should only be arranged by the person organising the funeral.
TAKING CHILDREN TO A FUNERAL
This is very much a personal choice and our funeral directors think that it’s more than appropriate for older children to attend a funeral in Bovingdon as they’ll want to have their own final memories of a loved one in later years. Toddlers and babies, however, can be disruptive during a long service and might be best left at home.
If you plan to take a child to a funeral, talk to them beforehand so they have a clear idea of what to expect and solid guidelines as to how they should behave.
ENTERING THE CHURCH OR CREMATORIUM
Tradition and personal choice usually dictate whether attendees will enter the church or the crematorium ahead of the coffin. Church services in Bovingdon will usually see the mourners arrive first and our funeral directors then arrange for the coffin to enter at the scheduled time. Close family will usually follow in behind the coffin.
Crematoriums differ and it’s usually best practice for attendees to enter after the coffin and the deceased’s close family and friends. Remember to leave seats free at the front if you are attending a church service as these will be reserved for the immediate family.
AFTER A CHURCH SERVICE
Our funeral directors recommend that everybody attending a funeral in Bovingdon should stand when the minister leaves and the coffin is taken out. Let the immediate family leave first and allow the rest of the seats to empty from the front, and then backwards, until it is your turn to join the procession on its way to the graveside.
At a cremation, the coffin will disappear behind a curtain or lower through the floor after the service. We recommend that you let the immediate family leave first and then exit the crematorium yourself in a respectful and organised manner.
ATTENDING A FUNERAL
In most cases, anybody can attend a funeral is Bovingdon but it pays to check with the arranger or the funeral directors first to ensure a private ceremony hasn’t been arranged. In most cases, the funeral will be a suitable opportunity for family and friends, both past and present, to say their final goodbyes to the deceased.
In relation to the wake, you will normally receive an invite from the arranger ahead of the funeral. We recommend that you only attend a wake if invited.